An ImPerfect Moment
by ljp
Summary: Clark decides that this was not the perfect moment. Then, Lois reacts.
1. A Moment

(Im)Perfect Moment

**An (Im)Perfect Moment**

_By ljp_

**Category**: Superman movieverse

**Spoilers**: Superman Returns

**Rating**: PG

**Word** **Count**: 1,495

**Summary**: Clark decides that this was (not) the perfect moment.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Superman, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, etc. DC Comics rules all.

**Notes**: Thanks to _bistyboo1974_ for the quick read-thru / beta even though neither of us are really at our best today. After all, I'm going on an all-nighter and about 4 hours of morning-sleep. Still, I hope you enjoy. It was just something going through my mind that I really needed to get out.

--

Everything about the moment was completely wrong. Clark adjusted his glasses and rapped his knuckles across the door. He took a deep breath when he heard the movement on the other side and a hurried "Hold on, hold on, be right there." A moment later, the door opened a few inches.

"Clark?" Lois blinked at him then stepped aside and let him in. "What are you doing here? God, I thought you were Richard so I was hiding. Come on in." She closed and locked the door behind him. "I'm going completely crazy. Please tell me you brought me a latte. Or chocolate. Clark, you brought chocolate for me, right?"

Clark swallowed. "I, uh, don't think you should chance it in that dress."

He had been avoiding looking at her, but he had to now that she stood in front of him. Lois was, in a word, breathtaking. The empire-waist gown was sheathed in ivory lace from just under her breasts to the floor. The v-neck pushed those breasts up and filled out the ivory satin. It was held up with thin beaded straps, similar beading emphasizing the empire-waist cut and dropping from between her breasts and down her stomach, where the lace parted to reveal satin underneath. There was a train, not long, but enough that the gown will trail behind her as she walked. She wore no veil; rather her dark curls were held in place with gold pearl-accented combs.

"What are you staring at?" she practically snapped. "Since you're here, you might as well be of use. I can't get these buttons at the back and my mom disappeared to find Jason something to drink." She turned, giving Clark her back.

He still stared, this time at the bare expanse of her back visible under a few errant curls against the back of her neck. The creamy lace of her corset peeked out from under the row of unbuttoned buttons.

Lois turned to him over her shoulder. "Clark?"

He shook his head and, with trembling fingers, began doing the tiny buttons up slowly. "Sorry. You look stunning, Lois."

She huffed. "I look ridiculous. We've had the marriage license for months and I just wanted to go to the courthouse and get it over with, but no, Richard and Perry insisted on this circus show."

When he finished the final button, he allowed himself a moment to brush the side of his hand across her soft skin. He thought he felt her shiver. And he knew her heart beat sped up.

Lois stepped away from him and faced him, pressing her the silk and lace over her stomach and thighs. "Thanks, Smallville," she said with a smile. "So, how do I really look? And no lying."

I never lie, he almost said. But instead he let his gaze linger over her, the way the dress hugged her curves, the swells of her breasts peeking above the ivory silk, the corner of her mouth tucked between her teeth. "You look beautiful, Lois," he said, allowing his voice to lower slightly. "Richard is a very lucky man."

Lois held his gaze for a moment before looking away. "So what brings you here? I thought you RSVPed no. Something about a silver-haired mother back in Kansas?"

"I—needed to talk to you," he said.

"Right now?" she asked, laughing. "Clark, I'm getting married in ten minutes. This can't wait until Monday at the office?"

"I won't be at the office Monday, Lois."

"What are you talking about?"

"I gave Perry my two weeks' notice two weeks ago," he said. He wrung his hands together and tried to keep his focus on her face. "I'm taking a transfer to the Smallville Ledger. My—mother's not doing very well right now and I think I need to be there for her." He was lying. He was stalling. He shouldn't be doing this.

Her smile fell. "Clark, why didn't you say something sooner?" She touched his arm. "Is she all right? Is that why you weren't going to be able to make it today?"

He nodded.

"I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm going to miss working with you, you know."

"You'll be fine, Lois. You have Richard."

She opened her mouth then shut it. She scowled. "It's completely different, Clark. Richard's going to be my husband. You're—well, you're Clark. My partner. My best friend."

He wished he could be Superman in front of her all the time, with that confidence and strength. But even as Superman it was difficult for him when he was with her. "Lois, the truth is, my mom's fine. She's moving to Montana. She has a gentleman friend who owns a ranch there."

"Then why are you—?"

"Because—Lois when I said I needed to talk to you, I didn't mean I needed to talk about why I'm leaving the Planet or why I'm moving back to Smallville. I need to talk to you about—about Superman. And about Jason."

She visibly tensed. "What about them?"

"Just because I'm leaving Metropolis doesn't mean I'm not going to be around."

Lois frowned. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Clark took a deep breath. "Lois," he said, fiddling with the frame of his glasses and standing up a bit straighter. "There's really no easy way to say this, but I can't let—I can't watch you marry Richard without you knowing."

"Knowing what?" she asked.

"And I don't want you think I'm doing this to keep you from marrying Richard. Because, Lois, Richard's a good man. He's good for you. He's a good father to Jason."

Lois, getting impatient, stamped her heeled. "Clark, what the hell are you talking about?"

He took his glasses off his face and lowered them to his side as he brought himself to his full height. "Lois, I'm Superman."

Her mouth opened but she said nothing. She clenched her fists at her sides but stood stationary in the middle of the small dressing room. Her cheeks flushed pink and her eyes started to tear up. "I don't believe you," she said in barely a whisper. She crossed to him, flung his tie out of the way, and tore the buttons open on his shirt until the familiar blue and red showed. "Oh my God."

"Lois," he said.

She held his shirt at its lapels and looked up at him. She was close, the closest she'd been since the night he'd saved the Genesis flight and they'd met on the roof of the Planet. "How dare you!" she hissed. Her mascara started to run with her tears. "How dare you come and tell me now."

"Lois, I—I will always be there for Jason and for you. But I'm not strong enough to be Clark Kent to your Lois Lane anymore."

"You're Superman! You're stronger than anyone on this planet!" she argued. Her grip on his shirt tightened. Her cheeks were wet.

He swallowed and tried to keep from leaning even closer to her. "Not when it comes to you, Lois."

Lois gave her head the barest shake.

"I love you, Lois. More than you will ever know. That's why I RSVPed no. That's why I'm leaving Metropolis. That's why walking away right now is going to be the hardest decision I have ever made." He stepped back from her.

"Then don't make it. Just say the word and I'll—I'll walk out right now with you."

For a moment, Clark could think of nothing else. How easy would it for him to take Lois's hand and fly away with her, fly high up into the clouds where she wouldn't be marrying Richard, where he wouldn't have to leave the city, where he could still see her and could openly love her and say it every morning and fall asleep next to her every night.

But that couldn't happen. It wouldn't be that easy. There were complications. He still split his life in two every day. Richard still loved Lois, loved Jason. And Jason loved Richard. And Clark was still Superman. Superman was Jason's father. Who would believe Clark Kent was?

"No," he said. "I'm not going to do that. Marry Richard, Lois."

He didn't have a chance to react before her hand connected with the side of his face, but he heard the crack of her bones. He flinched. "Lois—" But when he reached for her hand, she reeled back, cradling her hand against her chest.

"Leave," she whispered. She looked at the closed door behind him.

"Lois."

"Please leave," she said, her voice shaking. "I'm supposed to get married now. You RSVPed no. I don't need you here."

He wanted to say something else but he didn't. Instead, he nodded and backed up to the door. He opened it with a jerk and without unlocking it. He found her gaze and shook his head slightly. When she looked away, squeezing her eyes shut, he left in a blur and gust of wind.


	2. A Decision

An (Im)Perfect Decision

**An (Im)Perfect Decision**

_Part two._

Lois stared at the door, its handle broken and hanging at an odd angle. Her hand, too, hung at an odd angle from the wrist. It hurt, but not as much as her head, which was spinning so fast she couldn't see straight. She backed up to the dressing table and sank onto the cushioned chair, leaning her head down to her knees. She wanted the nausea to end.

"Why?" she whispered. "Clark, please." She knew he could hear her.

Oh God, she thought. Clark could hear her. i_Clark/i_ could hear her—what else had he heard all these years? What had she said to him in confidence about either of them to either of them?

Her stomach somersaulted. She hadn't eaten anything all day in anticipation of pre-wedding jitters that never came. She was fine until he'd removed his glasses, until she'd torn open his shirt and saw the blue, the strong bold line of the symbol on his—on i_Clark's_/i—chest.

"Lois, sweetheart, it's almost—"

"Mommy, what happened to the door?" Jason raced into the room and climbed up onto the chair beside Lois. "Are you sick?" He put a hand over her forehead like she does with him. "Do you have a jittery bug in your tummy?"

"That's jitters, Jason," Ella Lane said.

"That's what I said. Jitters like Daddy."

Lois looked up at the word, her heart clenching in her chest. "Oh, Jason, baby," she said. She reached for him, pulling him into her lap, careful to keep her broken wrist at her side. She didn't care about wrinkling her dress or Jason's tuxedo. She pressed her palm over his cheek and looked at him, really looked at him.

She could always see Superman in him, in the unnatural blue of his eyes and darkness of his hair. But she never noticed i_Clark_/i in him until now. Those blue eyes were now wide and attentive, focused only on her. Clark always looked her in the eye, only her. And Jason's dark hair fell over those eyes, not curled, not unless it was wet. She realized she couldn't remember if she'd ever seen Clark wet. Jason had a dimple on one side of his mouth, the same nose as Clark, the same—

Lois wrapped her arm tightly around him and buried her face in his hair. "Oh, Jason."

"My Lord, Lois, what did you do to your hand?"

She looked up. She had forgotten her mother was in the room. "Mother, please go get Richard. I need to speak with him."

"You need to—Lois Joanne Lane, so help me if you call this off now—" Her mother waved a stiff, pointed finger at her.

"Mother," Lois stressed. "I need to speak with Richard now."

Ella looked like she wanted to argue again but didn't. She walked out the door and left it open.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Jason was pouting and looking at her with such an intense and worried look.

Lois managed a small smile at the similarity of Jason's concerned look to Clark's when she was about to do something rash. "Nothing's wrong, baby. Everything's fine." She marveled at him then, at that moment, much like she'd marveled at him at his birth, just a few hours old.

She had never taken the time to imagine or consider a relationship with Superman because he was, well, Superman. But she could have a relationship with Clark. Clark Kent could be husband, and father, and lover, and best friend.

Richard poked his head into the room, eyes closed. "Lois, what's going on? What do you need to talk to me about?"

Lois nudged Jason to the floor and stood. "For God's sake, Richard, you can open your eyes."

"But I'm not supposed to see you before the wedding."

"There's not going to be a wedding."

Richard opened his eyes. He looked suddenly panicked. He looked at the broken door then at her. "Was he here?"

She didn't have to ask who he was. She nodded.

"Lois, you can't be serious. He's—"

She cut him off. "It's not fair to you, Richard, or to Jason, or even to him. I can't keep pretending that I'm happy." She winced at the look of hurt that passed over Richard's face. "The truth is—"

"Jason, go find your grandma Lane please."

Jason started to protest.

"Now," Richard said.

The little boy scurried out of the room.

Richard waited until he thought Jason was out of earshot. "Lois, you're making a mistake. I know that you think you're doing the right thing, but he's Superman. His place is out there, saving the world. Do you even realize the kind of danger you'd be in if you were with him? How much danger you'd be putting Jason in if people found out?"

"You're right," she said. "I can never have a public relationship with Superman."

"Exactly. Some sense. Now, Lois—"

"Do you remember once when you asked me who he was when he wasn't Superman? 'He doesn't go to the grocery store in the tights, Lois,' you said. You didn't believe that I had no idea who else he is."

Richard looked uncomfortable. "But you do now," he said quietly. "And whoever he is, you think he can—you think he can be the things I am to you. Husband, lover—" He hesitated. "—Jason's father."

"He i_is_/i Jason's father."

Richard ran a hand back through his hair. "Damnit." He tugged at his bow tie until the knot slipped out and he loosened it. "So I imagine that's why he was here? To beg you not to marry me? To marry him instead?"

"No," Lois argued. "No, he's not like that. He—he told me to marry you, actually. He was saying good-bye."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better? That he needed to i_give you his permission_/i?"

"No!" Lois raised her voice. "No, Richard, that's not what happened at all. And he didn't make this decision for me. This is my decision. I should have made it a long time ago. I never should have—Richard, I love you. But I'm i_in_/i love with him."

Richard was short of breath. His chest rose and fell. He looked like he didn't know where to stand or what to do. "What can I do?" he asked dejectedly. "Please, Lois. How can I make you happy?"

"I'm sorry," she said. She looked away from him. Carefully, painfully, she took off Richard's ring. "I didn't mean for it to come to this. It shouldn't have lasted this long. I can't believe I'm doing this today. Of all days!"

He growled. "I can't believe you're doing this today either, Lois. What are you going to do? Go to him? Right now? Spend our wedding night with him?"

"Richard, stop it! Don't act like this. This is i_my_/i fault, Richard. My choice. Not his, not yours, i_mine_/i. And maybe it's not the right choice. Maybe when I go to him he'll reject me. Maybe this will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I won't regret it. I know that I won't regret it."

A moment, and then— "You would regret marrying me today." It wasn't a question.

She didn't apologize this time.

"I love you, Lois. And I want to marry you today. I've wanted to marry you since I met you. Your drive, your passion, your fierceness, your ruthlessness and yet how gentle you are, how motherly you can be to Jason. I—there's nothing I can say to make you change your mind?"

Lois shook her head. "Jason loves you. I—love you. And we're going to need you, Richard, if you're—willing. I know it's going to be hard, but imagine how hard it's been for him?"

He clenched a fist and knocked it against the wall. "Can we not talk about him, please?"

She swallowed and looked down.

The silence between them was tense and heavy. She could feel his eyes on her. "You look beautiful, Lois." He closed the broken door as he left.


End file.
